Advent Day Nine: Divorce Her Quietly

"This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, 'Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.'" - Matthew 1:18-21

Even though our culture's marital practices have evolved since the days of Christ, listen to any radio station and within a song or two, you'll hear someone sing about having been cheated on or betrayed by a loved one.  As a society, it seems to be built into our moral code that mutually committed, monogamous relationships are important, and betraying that trust and commitment is grounds for separation or divorce.

Joseph had every right to "divorce her quietly."  He could have divorced her loudly.  What greater evidence could he have that his soon-to-be wife has been unfaithful?

And yet, here comes another angel to help show the people that our ways are not God's ways.

So far, nothing about the way Jesus is coming into this world is conventional.  This is a God of against-all-odds.  This is a God of surprise and mercy, faith and redemption.  He chose for his son to be raised by Mary and Joseph; he must have known that Joseph was capable of a measure of faith and mercy uncommon among men and women alike.  

We all can use a little nudge in the right direction from time to time, especially when the right direction is surprising and much more challenging: "Joseph, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife."

Advent Activity: Read the Nutcracker (And Open a Special Gift)

Can I just say a quick, "OH NO."  I forgot this was supposed to happen tonight.  I haven't wrapped the nutcrackers yet.  Guess what I'll be doing on my lunch break!  

It's also Lydia's basketball practice night.  Lord, help me.

Advent Day Eight: Mary Hears from Gabriel

"In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, 'Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.' Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.'

"'How will this be,' Mary asked the angel, 'since I am a virgin?'

"The angel answered, 'The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.'

"'I am the Lord’s servant,' Mary answered. 'May your word to me be fulfilled.' Then the angel left her." - Luke 1:26-38

There is the way you think your life ought to go, and then there is the way it actually goes.  Mary didn't plan to have a baby before being married to Joseph, let alone the mother of the Son of the Most High.

Mary seems like the type of young woman who heard the voice of the prophet Isaiah, saying, "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it,'" even when that way might seem riddled with unknowns, even when that way likely will be shadowed by condemnation and rumors.  Mary took a deep breath and answered, "I am the Lord's servant."

Advent Activity: Bake Christmas Cookies
You have Henry to thank for the fact that this is a short meditation today.  He is clinging to my pant leg waiting ever so impatiently for me to finish so we can begin mixing dough for cookies.  So, off I go!

Advent Day Six: Delivering a Message of Hope

"Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. But the angel said to him: 'Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.'" - Luke 1:11-17

This isn't your average, every day pregnancy test.

In between miscarriages early in our marriage, I had to have a procedure done that caused me to wonder whether we would ever be able to conceive.  I was filled with anxiety beforehand.  Our pastor, Joe Coffey, came to the hospital to pray with us and to read us a passage of Scripture that helped to quiet our spirits.  Yes, God had called us by name.  God had promised to be with us.

When I was a student for a time in a master's program in Christian ministry, there was a dispute among students about the authorship of the New Testament letters.  If we do not know for sure who wrote them, if someone wrote them in the name of another, what are we to do with the Word of God?  After the discussion came to a heated standstill, the professor said, "A good ruler for determining whether a Word is from God (extrabiblical or biblical) is this: Does the Holy Spirit speak to someone each time the passage is read?  Maybe not for you specifically but to someone?"

There is a strange and mysterious power in words.  Words can speak life or condemnation, root into your heart and grow.  There have been times when I have felt compelled to call someone I haven't seen in a while or to write a note on Facebook or email, and in that moment I feel kind of silly, kind of embarrassed, kind of hesitant to speak.  I have learned, though, that you do not ignore those compulsions to share a word of encouragement, that inevitably, the recipient needed that word at that precise moment, to carry with her like I've carried those verses Joe gave us in our moment of need.

Our presence may not be as startling as Zechariah's angel, but we have the same power to speak hope and light into the lives that surround us, from our children to our spouses to our co-workers to our friends and even to strangers.

Advent Activity: Polar Express Movie Night

It's Friday!  Movie night in the Wells' house, and my husband is actually home this weekend, so it's an extra special movie night with all five of us here.  You can bet there will be hot chocolate tonight.  Maybe we will bring blankets out to camp on the living room floor, but even if that doesn't happen, there will certainly be snuggling.

Advent Day Five: But They Were Childless

"In the time of Herod king of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron. Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly. But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old. Once when Zechariah’s division was on duty and he was serving as priest before God, he was chosen by lot, according to the custom of the priesthood, to go into the temple of the Lord and burn incense. And when the time for the burning of incense came, all the assembled worshipers were praying outside." - Luke 1:5-10

You might know what comes next, but it might not hurt to pause here and remember that Zechariah and Elizabeth didn't know what would come next.  

After our second miscarriage, I remember my disdain for God.  I burned with anger at him.  To hearken back to yesterday's post, I stomped my feet and yelled to my father in heaven, It's not fair!  Even while I threw myself into work and professed to be "okay," I found myself retreating inward, into the chasm of grief and doubt where I spent most of my thought life asking, Why? Why? Why? Who are you anyway?!

That seemed like a long season.  I didn't know whether we'd ever conceive and carry a child to term.  What I thought I knew to be true about God was shaken.  I don't think most of our family members and friends knew the burden I carried (well, that's probably not true: I'm not exactly a private person).  We don't all go around broadcasting our fears and our doubts, our inner struggles and wrestling with God.  But that doesn't mean the wrestling match isn't taking place.  

Underneath the exterior, underneath their obedience and their righteousness, Zechariah and Elizabeth struggled with infertility.  They passed their childbearing years childless.  Maybe it had been decades.  

Do you think Zechariah ever raised his fists to the heavens?  Do you think Elizabeth ever collapsed in a heap of shuddering flesh and bones on the floor of her home, grief a puddle of tears?  I bet they did.

Maybe Zechariah and Elizabeth had long since abandoned hope of ever conceiving.  Maybe the hurt of that burden had yet to wear off.  Maybe they had settled into their lives as husband and wife, joyfully serving, the pang of childlessness dull-- maybe so far muted they hardly noticed the absence anymore.  

How silent, how unresponsive did God seem during those years?

And yet, in the mercy of stillness, in the grace of silence, Zechariah entered the temple of the Lord.

Sometimes, all we can do is enter the temple of the Lord.  And be still.  And wait.  Wait for glory to fall.  Wait for the Light.  Wait for the peace that passes understanding.  

Advent Activity: Look through Family Photo Albums

This might be one of my favorite activities during the advent season.  Each year since we moved to Ashland, I've put together an annual family photo album using Shutterfly, so now we have something like six photo albums cataloging all that we've done together the last six years.  It is heartwarming to reminisce together with our children, especially as they recall memories they've made and invent memories they couldn't possibly have acquired on their own.  Flipping through these photo albums reminds us of our family's story.  They map out our family's adventures through all of the valleys and mountains to where we have arrived today.

Advent Day Four: It's Not Fair!

"'The days are coming,' declares the Lord, 'when I will fulfill the good promise I made to the people of Israel and Judah. In those days and at that time I will make a righteous Branch sprout from David’s line; he will do what is just and right in the land. In those days Judah will be saved
and Jerusalem will live in safety. This is the name by which he will be called: The Lord Our Righteous Savior.'" - Jeremiah 33:14-16

My children's favorite phrase lately is "It's not fair!"  Even our two-year-old, Henry, if denied a snack ten minutes before we are supposed to eat dinner, will look up into our faces and yell, "It's not fair!"  From who gets to go first to who gets to pick out the movie, arguments abound in our house about fairness.

Something innate within us longs for justice and righteousness.  We each seem to carry a measuring rod that surveys the level of injustice and wrong in the world, most often the level of injustice that is being inflicted upon us.  How have I been wronged lately?  What pay raise has passed me by, who has cut me off in traffic?  Minor injustices, really.  And yet our bones seem to scream, It's not fair!

Never mind the long list of injustices and wrongs that are committed daily, covered in the news and inflicted in secret, in the shadows of homes, in dark alleys, injustices that leave us paralyzed by helplessness.

These are the injustices we face that make the promises of the prophets, especially this one in Jeremiah, poignant.  This righteous sprout will do what is right and just in the land.  He will rescue us from the kingdom of injustice and deliver us into the kingdom of God.  He will be called The Lord Our Righteous Savior, and the kingdom of God will descend to Earth.

Come, O Come, Emmanuel.

Advent Activity: Read a Christmas Book

Underneath our tree are about a dozen or so Christmas stories, ranging from The Night Before Christmas to A Tow Mater Christmas and everything in between. Tonight, we will take time to read a few Christmas books together near the tree, and if I am feeling extra ambitious and generous, maybe there will even be hot cocoa again.

December Is for Crafting

Warning: I'm going to get all Pinterest-y up in here, so beware, this place just turned into Hobby Lobby.

Which happens to be where I bought all of my fun supplies.

A little known side effect to consuming turkey is that it triggers the release of craft-y-mone (a recently discovered hormone), which is why Hobby Lobby can afford to list all of their Christmas products at 50% off the day after Thanksgiving... they know we'll be out looking for scrapbook paper and glitter glue.

After the success of last year's magical advent season, I decided, in spite of the holiday doldrums, to continue the advent activities tradition this year.

Here's what I did (and here comes the Pinterest-ready photos... har har har):

Corkboard
After I managed to pry my fingerprints off with the double-sided foam tape that came with the 12x12 corkboard squares, I stuck 'em up on the wall in a mostly square square.  For the more anal retentive among us, I suggest a thingy with the bubble in it that makes sure things are level -- oh! there it is, the device we professionals call a "level."

Pretty Paper
There once was a time when I used scrapbook paper to scrapbook, but those days are gone like a freight train, gone like yesterday.  Now, I will be purchasing seasonal squares of scrapbook paper as background material for my boards o' cork and using them for kids' pictures and other super-fun Mommy kind of things.  If I didn't have this turkey triggered craft-y-mone, I might have just stopped here because I think this is just about the cleverest little display I've ever conjured.  But wait, there's more!

Advent Activity Tags
Using some multi-brown colored cardstock to match the kitchen decor, I cut out some Christmas-y shapes, like stars, bells, trees, bulb ornaments, and a boot that looks more like a train engine if I turn it sideways.  After I got the cutting done, I laid them out on the table to make sure I didn't put all of the poop brown ones in one corner.  This seemed important.  Then, I labeled 'em in order from 1 to 24 and wrote down someone else's really handy Pinterest idea, which is to read a passage from the nativity story in Scripture each evening.  The verses for that are here.

Once all of that was done, I handed the tags over to my kiddos, equipped with stickers, glitter glue, and little sticky gemstones.  I did my best to resist rearranging stickers in order to make each ornament either symmetrical or balanced and avoided a lecture on proper glitter glue technique ("Don't squeeze so hard! Squeeze from the top! Egads, don't smear it like that!"), but I did supervise a few strategic sticker placement attempts, thus averting the very serious top-heavy sticker crisis of 2013.

The Most Important Part
After feeding the children and watching 2/3 of Elf because the children are losing interest and ricocheting off furniture with their Star Wars Lego battleships and gymnast maneuvers cleverly propelled from the seat cushion of the couch to the ottoman, escort them off to their rooms where they will whisper, "Good night, Mom.  I love you, Mom," after you've sung "Take you for a ride on my big green tractor" to them even though it's about taking a girl out for a ride on a tractor and you've modified it for your starry-eyed farmer sons, then sit down with the advent cards and start plotting out the possibilities for December leading up to Christmas.

Here's what we're doing (don't tell the kids!):

December 1 - Make hot cocoa
December 2 - Make cinnamon ornaments
December 3 - Play Christmas music
December 4 - Read a Christmas book
December 5 - Look at family photo albums
December 6 - Polar Express movie night
December 7 - Tuba Christmas @ Ashland
December 8 - Make Christmas cookies
December 9 - Read the story of the Nutcracker and open "special gift" (nutcrackers)
December 10 - Take a winter walk
December 11 - Buckeye Express Diner night
December 12 - Package Christmas cookies
December 13 - Popcorn and pajamas movie night
December 14 - Christmas shopping
December 15 - Lingro Family Christmas
December 16 - Deliver Christmas cookies
December 17 - Wrap Christmas gifts
December 18 - Eat Christmas cookies
December 19 - Fancy dress-up dinner night
December 20 - Look at Christmas lights
December 21 - Go ice skating
December 22 - Mystery event
December 23 - Color Christmas pictures and cards
December 24 - Davis Family Christmas
December 25 - Christmas Day

I feel a little less panicky and depressed about the holidays than my last post, partly because this project is done and I've outlined the holiday season, but also because I really do love the holidays-- the whirlwind of family gathering and laughing, the late night car rides looking for early Christmas lights on the way home from Thanksgiving dinner, the ever-available Christmas cookies, the quiet glow of the Christmas tree... ah.  There it is.  My Christmas spirit.

Advent Day 13: A Special Treat

Public Service Announcement: Tonight's post is written with chocolate and merlot, preceded by a chocolate chip cookie, potentially followed by more chocolate. And more merlot.

I'm not sure why tonight beat the snot out of me. Maybe several weeks of whizzing about has finally provoked the over-tired toddler in me to throw a tantrum.  After I picked up the kids from their respective child care locales, we grabbed a hot-and-ready pizza from Little Caesars and darted home to eat in a hurry before Lydia's basketball practice.  After last time, there was no way in heaven or on Earth I was going to wrestle Henry into captivity for an entire hour in the gym, so while Lydia practiced, the boys and I went to Hawkins to pick up some groceries (yay, no grocery shopping tomorrow!) and to cash in the advent activity for today-- pick out a special treat.  We visited the delicious Hawkins bakery and bought two iced sugar cookies for Lydia and Elvis, a spritz snowman for Henry, and a chocolate chip cookie for mama.

Let. Me. Go!

Lyd had pictures tonight, too, so there was no avoiding bringing the boys back into the gym for the remainder of practice.  I should've gotten Henry a bigger cookie, ("Stillwell, angel, have another chocolate bar!") because he gobbled up the spritz snowman before I could say, Frosty the Snowman had to hurry on his way... which is what I wanted to do, hurry on our way.  Henry tried to escape but I was too fast for him and found some Thomas the Tank Engine video through the YouTube app on my phone, which pacified him long enough for practice to end.  Then, it was standing about with a 30-pound squirming worm in my arms and a 5-year-old clinging to my pantleg like I asked him not to five THOUSAND times while we waited for every girl on the team to get her picture taken.  On the way to the car, Henry kept squawking, "AWK! AWK!" so I let him walk but forced him to hold my hand, which he hated and did the wet-noodle-collapse-on-the-asphalt trick.  I picked his arched self up, which he hated even more, and tried to put him in his carseat, but it's hard to bend a U-shaped body back to a sitting position.  "Sit DOWN!  Mama's gonna lose it in a minute, Henry!" I squeaked.  All three kids laughed at me.

God, I love parenting.

Then it was home to take the fastest bath on the planet-- in fact, I'm not sure the boys got wet at all-- and then to bed to bed to bed!  Yay!  The older two were out before I headed back down the stairs, but I don't think Henry stopped singing and talking to himself until almost 9 p.m. He'll be buckets of fun tomorrow. 

The tantrum-throwing, over-tired toddler in me could've crawled underneath a crocheted blanket and watched a romantic comedy, but tomorrow is trash day, and thank God I saw the Hawkins plastic bag on the table because I would've forgotten all about the bags of eggs, sausage, bacon, and yogurt just waiting to spoil in the back of the kid hauler.  Trash can on the curb, groceries in the refrigerator, sticky spot on the floor grabbing my sock every time I walk past the silverware drawer.  Oh. Well.

I unloaded the dishwasher but turned off the light in the kitchen before I could notice the sink still full of dishes from this morning. But I had to flick the switch back on to find the wine and chocolate.  Don't worry, I was careful to shield my eyes and then dashed away again.  I'm safe now in the living room away from those oatmeal-crusted bowls and those lipstick-stained coffee mugs.

I thought about the laundry briefly, but blogging about advent seemed like a much better use of my time, even though I don't think Henry is going to be wearing any pants tomorrow. 

All of this to say tonight was one of those nights that makes me want to quit. All things. Am I absolutely insane to think I can do this AND take classes toward a master's degree?  I can't keep all of *this* (waving arms frantically, the universal symbol for utter chaos and disorder) together as it is.  Yeah, I see you --  o.O  -- stop looking at me like that.  We serve crazy here every night.

My advent calendar could've ended December 19-- all I'm anticipating right this minute is the end of work for 2012 and the beginning of agenda-free Christmas vacation.  That whole waiting-to-celebrate-the-birth-of-baby-Jesus-God-with-us-prince-of-peace thing is totally overrated.  Okay, not really.  I just want to see my husband for more than a couple of hours before he takes a plane to another state, to disengage my alarm for two whole weeks, to shift into a slower pace of life instead of this frantic running all the time.

And all I really want for Christmas is to think only about family, friends, love, joy, and peace... and to indulge in tasty food and good wine.  Bring it, Advent.  Bring. It. On. 

Advent Day One: Make Hot Cocoa

December 1: Make Hot Cocoa

I loooooove hot chocolate, but the mix stuff leaves a horrible corn syrup aftertaste in my mouth and frankly gives me the McGurgles.  It made me so sad the first time I tried some after our diet change.  So today, we're trying paleo hot chocolate.  I grabbed this recipe from Easy Paleo.  I thought about trying to make these paleo marshmallows, but egads.  Too much work for me.  I'll be whipping up some whipping cream instead.

Paleo Hot Chocolate
Ingredients:
3 TBS Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
1/2 C Full-Fat Coconut Milk (we're using almond milk instead)
1 C Boiling Water
1/2 tsp Vanilla Extract
1 TBS Organic Honey
1 tsp Cinnamon

Directions: Add cocoa to boiling water and stir with a fork until completely dissolved (this step is important if you do not want chunky hot chocolate). Add cinnamon and honey to the hot mixture. Finally, stir in the coconut milk and vanilla. If necessary, heat for 30 seconds in the microwave.

I'll report tonight about how this recipe turns out. Today is day one of the Ashland Poetry Workshop, so I'll be sneaking the hot cocoa treat in sometime this afternoon, hopefully.

UPDATE
This recipe is AWESOME.  I would recommend a little less cinnamon next time, but overall a success.  Delicious!

Advent Calendar and Writing

The Advent season starts December 1, and I'm nipping at the bit.  I love this season.

The kids and I made an advent calendar that I stole from Pinterest (gah. one more addiction to battle.) and combined with our Nativity story books.  Each day has a different activity on it for December leading up to Christmas. 

I kept them rather small scale and unambitious because this is such a busy time of year for us, with Brandon working out of town nearly every day through December 20.  I didn't want to become frustrated by the activities, so we're going to do things like watch Polar Express, drive around to see Christmas lights, make hot cocoa, buy Christmas presents, etc. 

Coming up with the activities actually helped me to plan out the holiday season a little bit better than I might otherwise.

In the poetry world, I've been trying to write poems out of the advent wreath with its various meanings and themes.  From various Google searches, I've compiled this info: the first candle is the prophecy candle, primarily Isaiah – represents hope or anticipation of the coming Messiah.  The second candle represents love – Bethlehem candle, representing the manger, John the Baptist.  The third candle, the pink candle, represents joy – Shepherd’s candle, Mary. The fourth candle, purple, represents peace – Angel’s candle, the Magi. And on Christmas Eve, the white candle is lit – the Christ candle, life of Christ – purity.

I have two solid poems out of this project, the first more directly advent-ish than the other, but even if I sway from the prompt, I'm writing poems.  These kinds of projects make me think and help me stretch, so I'm not just waiting for inspiration to strike.  Sometimes inspiration is slow.  Like I'm late to work and trying to get three kids into winter coats and hats and boots but they aren't interested kind of slow.  :)  Amazing how motivated they are to leave the house when it's to play.  So that's what I'm doing for my inspiration - playing in poems.

On another note, my hearing seems to be coming back (hallelujah!), but tomorrow I have an ENT appointment just to see if they can determine what caused the hearing loss in the first place, and what I can do to prevent that from happening again.

This weekend is the Ashland Poetry Workshop.  I am teaching my first workshop.  I'm both excited and terrified.  I have a plan to reduce the terror, though, so there's hope.