Advent Day 18: Treasure These Things

Building off of yesterday's post on sharing the good news, today's verses are encouraging to me because of the "but" that begins the passage:

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told." - Luke 2:19-20

Imagine being so young, delivering this child that is supposed to be the Son of God, judgment and assumptions made by your community of friends and family who probably suspect your story is a lie and your husband is a joke for keeping you. A barrage of emotions has been rolling through your life ever since that pesky Gabriel arrived with his message of hope: fear, faith, confidence, doubt, frustration, insecurity, reassurance, and now all of these things: the shepherds, Joseph staying with her, the heavenly host of angels singing, "glory to God in the highest!"

Sometimes, it is enough to "treasure up all these things" and "ponder them."  Some of us are shepherds, reporting to the broader world the miraculous and mysterious things we've seen, and some of us are like Mary, experiencing the miraculous and the mysterious in such an intimate way that the only audience we can entertain for the time being is our own hearts.

Last year, I wrote a poem for the third Sunday of Advent, the candle of joy, called "First (Mary's Poem)."  Those moments before and immediately following the birth of a child are distinct, vivid memories permanently imprinted.  We are the first to know this new life, this new person, the first to nurture, the first to hold.  It is too much to speak into words at first.

Advent Activity: Sigh
I give up. We made it a good two weeks with our advent activities until all efforts came crashing in, physically falling off of the wall.  The cork board advent calendar was a good idea, but the air must be too dry for the double-sided foam tape in our house.  So much for that.  Today's activity is a manageable one, though - eat Christmas cookies! No problem.

Advent Day Fourteen: Birth Stories

Get any group of mothers together with a pregnant woman around, and it will only take a short while before the birth stories begin.  I never tire of hearing the tales.  Hours spent in labor.  Induction.  Ice chips.  Husband nearly fainting when he saw the epidural needle.  We laugh, we cry, we each take our turns with our anecdotes and experiences, each of us wise in our own ways.

Mary's birth story might be the most famous and celebrated birth story.  Mary gives birth to her firstborn son and places him in a manger.  But let's just pause a moment inside this phrase, "Mary gives birth."

I could tell you about how long I labored with Lydia and how my body apparently didn't want to ever deliver a child, and how we had an emergency c-section because she was under stress, or I could tell you how we planned our next c-section and Elvis nearly died with respiratory distress syndrome, or I could share with you my final cesarean birth with Henry, gratefully complication-free, except for that whole, slice-open-the-abdomen-to-pull-out-your-baby part.

But I won't go into any more detail, except for this quote: "At the beginning of the 20th century, for every 1000 live births, six to nine women in the United States died of pregnancy-related complications, and approximately 100 infants died before age 1 year."  For those of you who are math-challenged, that's 10% of infants born and almost 1% of women.  Just one hundred years ago, one in ten infants died before the age of one.  In biblical times, it is estimated that infant mortality rate was around 30%.  

Can you feel the weight of that, women?  

In the last 100 years, advancements in medicine have reduced the rate of infant mortality and pregnancy-related complications.  By 1997, the infant mortality rate declined to 7.2 per 1000 live births, and the maternal mortality rate dropped to less than 0.1 reported deaths per 1000 live births (from "Achievements in Public Health, 1900-1999: Healthier Mothers and Babies").

We talk about our birth stories when we get together.  They are sometimes dramatic, sometimes easy, sometimes all-natural, sometimes assisted, sometimes life threatening, sometimes water-births, sometimes surgical, sometimes frightening.  We survived to talk about our birth stories.  

What a miracle.

"While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them." - Luke 2:6-7

Advent Day Thirteen: Traveling Pregnant

When I was five months pregnant with Elvis, I thought it would be a really fun idea to travel by plane with Lydia, who was ten months old, by myself, to meet Brandon and his baseball team in Florida over spring break.  As I maneuvered down the center aisle of the jet with Lydia on one hip and her car seat on the other, a diaper bag slung around my shoulder, and my significantly larger belly than my first pregnancy leading the way... this idea, maybe it was not so good, I thought.

A few years later, Elvis, Lydia, Brandon's grandma Garnet, and I traveled by Grand Marquis ("the Mercury," as they called it) from Ohio to Florida to meet Brandon after Christmas.  Brandon was working a bowl game in Florida, and we concocted a plan to get Grandma south for the winter, visit Brandon's brother and sister-in-law, and also only drive one vehicle, buying one-way tickets home. I carried in all five of Grandma's suitcases and our travel bags into the hotel room, and while Grandma did her geriatric exercises ("This is just what I have to do, Bran!") and worried about where her eye drops were, the kids begged to go to the pool (closed for cleaning) and chased each other around the queen beds.  Meanwhile, Henry squirmed in my womb.

Life does not stop for pregnancies.

I love challenges like these: You don't think I can handle this?  Watch me.  Watch me load my car with three of the loudest children ever birthed by a woman and drive to... anywhere!  The grocery store, the department store, a restaurant, the zoo, the movies, you name the challenge, I will jump on board.  At the end of the day, I will sink into the couch cushions, satisfyingly exhausted, and celebrate my triumph over a typical day of motherhood with a glass of merlot. Or Maker's Mark, if I'm feeling especially accomplished.

The reasons people have to stretch themselves this way aren't always rewarded by a personal geriatrics demonstration or the full-on open-faced snoring grandmother in the passenger seat. They don't always result in meeting up with loved ones and settling into a week of relaxing in the sunshine, laughing about makeup cases and eye drops.

Joseph and Mary find themselves near the end of Mary's pregnancy, summoned to return to Bethlehem for a census.  I'm sure that they didn't want to go.  It becomes evident in the next few passages that they didn't have family to stay with in town.  Echoing Jesus' call to "render unto Caesar's what is Caesar's and to God what is God's," Joseph and Mary heed the edict to return to Bethlehem, obeying the government even though it is complicating their lives (there's also the fun tidbit about fulfilling prophecies regarding the location of the Messiah's birth, but that's another day).

Life does not stop for pregnancies.

"In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child." - Luke 2:1-5

Advent Activity: Popcorn and pajama movie night
It's Friday, again, which means it's movie night, again!  We recorded Home Alone, and I think that's on the schedule for tonight.  Given their reaction to any kind of bloopers and Looney Tunes, I think they'll love Home Alone.

Advent Day Twelve: Mary's Song and My Song

I learned something new today, thanks to Wikipedia: Mary's song in the book of Luke makes strong allusions to Hannah's song in 1 Samuel 2:1-10, and if you have some time, go back to the first book of Sam and give it a read, then follow along with Mary in Luke 1:46-56.  The parallels are fascinating as these two women - one who is unexpectedly pregnant at a very young age, and the other who has prayed to God for years to be blessed with a child - yet both songs praise God for the blessing of a child.  Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy, both women rejoice.

Here's a little pregnancy poem, from my book Pruning Burning Bushes, that takes some of the language of Scripture and incorporates it into my own song, certainly no Magnificat, but a celebration and recognition of this mysterious and miraculous season.

"Last Born"

My final incarnation,
word of hope made flesh
in me—the hour draws
nearer. Right now, you nudge
my ribcage with your hand,
or elbow, or knee. Season
of mystery, I drink
a glass of sweet tea
to feel you move in me…
If only joy always came
as easily. For now I am
indwelt, possessed
by holiness, but soon
I will be an open wound,
abandoned, singular but
whole. Every living thing
must grieve as its last seeds
leave, like me, aware
that any blessings after this
will just be birthed on earth,
miracles delivered everywhere,
every ordinary day. No more
my pulse so close to yours.
No more will come
from this womb—it is time
to rejoice, time to mourn.
You are my last born.

"And Mary said:

'My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name.
His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
to Abraham and his descendants forever,
just as he promised our ancestors.'

Mary stayed with Elizabeth for about three months and then returned home." - Luke 1:46-56

Advent Activity: Package Christmas Cookies

Tonight, we are supposed to wrap up the cookies we made and prepare them for delivery!  This is one of the less exciting advent activities, and I have a strong feeling it will be me, in the kitchen, listening to Christmas music, with my Ziplocs, getting the cookies ready, while the kids play in the basement.  Wee!

Advent Day Eleven: Wait, what?

There's a moment after you say, "Yes, Lord, let it be as you have promised," when doubt floods in.  Maybe this wasn't such a great idea.  Maybe this path that looked so blessed while Gabriel was hanging out looks dark and lonely now that the bright winged angel isn't nearby.  You are small.  You are young.  You are human.  You are alone.

Doubt, that slimy, second-guessing lizard, slithers up near your ear and hisses are you sure?  Are you sure that's what he said?  Are you sure this is what you should be doing?  Are you sure this is the most secure way?  Are you sure you are content?  Are you sure?  Are you sure?

Shake him off.  Remember what was promised to you.  If you are troubled, if you are doubting, if you are second-guessing this decision or this path or this career or this marriage or this relationship or this calling, pause.  Reflect.  What brought you to this moment?  What has changed that permitted this lizard on your shoulder?

When this happens to me (and it does, often), I have to ask myself a few questions:

• What is causing this uncertainty?
• Am I worried over what-if's? 
• Is there a present danger to my contentment?
• What are the temptations to change course, and what lies underneath those temptations?

And if I am still uncertain, if the road still looks rocky and dark and lonely, if there are now two or more ways I could go and I don't know whether to turn to the left or the right, then I run to a friend or mentor whose shoulder isn't occupied by the second-guessing lizard, who can remind me, through the fog of uncertainty, what has been promised, what is the way of truth, so that I can walk in it again.

I feel like that is what is happening in today's verses about Mary and Elizabeth.  Mary is a first-time mom, a virgin mother of the Son of the Most High.  Do you think she faced her changing body with peace and calm at every turn?  No!  Of course she's terrified!  Of course she needs encouragement!  In the days and weeks and months before I first felt that flicker of movement inside my womb, I worried daily I would miscarry, worried constantly something would happen.  I think Mary goes to her relative seeking comfort and encouragement from another woman who would understand, extend mercy and compassion, and embrace her - blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.

"At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: 'Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!'" - Luke 1:39-45

Advent Activity: Buckeye Express Diner Night
Last year, we took the kids to this place and they loved it.  We haven't been back since, so I think they'll be pretty excited to go and dine again in the railroad car.

Advent Day Nine: Divorce Her Quietly

"This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, 'Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.'" - Matthew 1:18-21

Even though our culture's marital practices have evolved since the days of Christ, listen to any radio station and within a song or two, you'll hear someone sing about having been cheated on or betrayed by a loved one.  As a society, it seems to be built into our moral code that mutually committed, monogamous relationships are important, and betraying that trust and commitment is grounds for separation or divorce.

Joseph had every right to "divorce her quietly."  He could have divorced her loudly.  What greater evidence could he have that his soon-to-be wife has been unfaithful?

And yet, here comes another angel to help show the people that our ways are not God's ways.

So far, nothing about the way Jesus is coming into this world is conventional.  This is a God of against-all-odds.  This is a God of surprise and mercy, faith and redemption.  He chose for his son to be raised by Mary and Joseph; he must have known that Joseph was capable of a measure of faith and mercy uncommon among men and women alike.  

We all can use a little nudge in the right direction from time to time, especially when the right direction is surprising and much more challenging: "Joseph, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife."

Advent Activity: Read the Nutcracker (And Open a Special Gift)

Can I just say a quick, "OH NO."  I forgot this was supposed to happen tonight.  I haven't wrapped the nutcrackers yet.  Guess what I'll be doing on my lunch break!  

It's also Lydia's basketball practice night.  Lord, help me.

Advent Day Eight: Mary Hears from Gabriel

"In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, 'Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.' Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.'

"'How will this be,' Mary asked the angel, 'since I am a virgin?'

"The angel answered, 'The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.'

"'I am the Lord’s servant,' Mary answered. 'May your word to me be fulfilled.' Then the angel left her." - Luke 1:26-38

There is the way you think your life ought to go, and then there is the way it actually goes.  Mary didn't plan to have a baby before being married to Joseph, let alone the mother of the Son of the Most High.

Mary seems like the type of young woman who heard the voice of the prophet Isaiah, saying, "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it,'" even when that way might seem riddled with unknowns, even when that way likely will be shadowed by condemnation and rumors.  Mary took a deep breath and answered, "I am the Lord's servant."

Advent Activity: Bake Christmas Cookies
You have Henry to thank for the fact that this is a short meditation today.  He is clinging to my pant leg waiting ever so impatiently for me to finish so we can begin mixing dough for cookies.  So, off I go!

Advent - The Third Candle: Joy, Mary's Candle (Poem)

First
“But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.” – Luke 2:19

You wouldn’t stop
moving, pushed against
my ribs, and I pushed
back. We exchanged
our first conversation,
just my skin between
your hand and mine.
We spoke our first
nursery rhyme, sang
our first hymn. I breathe
every memory—not
of visitors or gifts but
what happened before,

after, in between. You
were hungry. I moved you
to my breast. You slept
on my chest, your head
beneath my chin,
every part of you new.
I never knew you better,
touched your toes and eyes
like you were ever mine,
your breath milk-sour,
hovering like incense
in the air.

Last Words Series Part Three - "Mary at the Cross"

Mary at the Cross



I am not old. A bewildered mother
since conception who stored up
each moment. Now I will recall
the way you reached for me, a babe,
and only see your outstretched arms.

Son, do not abandon me—every hour
has been mystery, how my Lord suckled
at my breast, relied on me to learn
the ways of men. Standing here watching
you die is my own death. I am afraid.

Yet even now, you look down and know
my thoughts—who will lead me through this,
on whom can I depend? By the power
of locked knees and women I stand,
resigned and resolute. I will soon be without

my son, my Lord. Dear woman, here is your son.

---------------------

Just like he did with the criminal on the cross, Jesus keeps on looking out for the needs of others, even while he's dying on a cross.  Seriously, is this guy the Son of God, or what?

In this poem, I wanted to receive the words from Jesus as he gives her John as her son, to take care of her and minister to her needs now that he's dying.  This puzzles me because Mary has other children.  I don't know if it is because the others are much younger or because Jesus wanted to entrust Mary to his brother-from-another-mother, John, because he knew that John would be a spiritual rock for his mother once he died.  It really doesn't matter in the bigger picture. Jesus - suffering, bleeding, sweating, aching, dying Jesus - looks down from the cross and sees his confused and grief-stricken mother and meets her needs.

As a mom, I can imagine the temptation to say to my son, look, just stop with all of this high-minded Son of Man stuff, deny it and live out a happy, quiet life.  I wonder if Mary, who treasured so much of her early memories in her heart, worried about the direction Jesus's life had taken in his teens and twenties.  Was this rebellious, revolutionary, peace-speaking, Pharisee-scolding son of hers always going to be getting into trouble?  Did he embarrass her by not meeting her expectations, like many of the others who met Jesus while he was alive?

And now she's standing at the foot of the cross with a few other women and the only disciple that hadn't completely abandoned Jesus, staring at her son.  Her SON.  This isn't just the Savior of the World.  It's her son.  I'm taken back to those early days of our son's life, when he laid in an incubator, intubated and limp, his very breath mechanically administered, and how unimaginably helpless we felt.  Of course we loved him already, before he was born, but now he's almost four years old, and we know him.  How much harder it is to imagine him suffering now, after this relationship has evolved so far.  What must it have been like for Mary, who loved Jesus for every second of his 33 years, to know him the way a mother knows a son, to watch him die?